If you’ve often lamented the lack of aging naked bodies on bicycles, I bear bare news: Saturday was set for a glorious reprieve from the dearth.
As relayed by the Riverfront Times, the World Naked Bike Ride returned to St. Louis.
Also saluted: “cyclists’ rights.”
The ode to insufficiently-sized saddles started at 4 p.m. and was planned to peak with a party:
With over 2,000 St. Louisans participating in past years, the ride features a cycle around the city and an afterparty in The Grove neighborhood once you hop off the bike.
There’s a rich history, indeed: 2022 marks the 14th time fans of exercise and epidermal overload have taken to the streets to feel the wind blow through their skin tags.
But freedom comes at a cost, so safety first:
Organizers ask participants to be vaccinated and wear a mask if they’re in close contact with others.
And on the slightest of all chances that a massive display of public nudity attracts ill-intentioned onlookers:
No photos can be taken without consent, as well as no touching others. (Just don’t be creepy, in other words.)
To be clear, I didn’t add those parentheses.
It’s nice that this year’s Rated-X aerobicisers aren’t having to necessarily mess with masks.
In 2021, I covered Philadelphia’s much more medically-conscious affair:
[S]trip down to your bare necessities, hop on your Huffy, and have at it.
But organizers still want to do the “most responsible thing.” Therefore, per this year’s rules, all participants will be required to wear a mask.
That’s right — while other orifices can air out, you’ll need to keep your nose and mouth muzzled. This year’s (12th) ride’s being touted as “The Mask Edition.” …
Hopefully, everyone will be pumped; and no one has a blowout.
Particularly due to the pent-up frustration of last year’s lockdown, I bet a bevy of in-the-buff bikers will be giving it a go for the first time.
And of course, it isn’t for everyone.
Not every biker will have a ball, but surely many balls will be had.
Back to (mostly?) maskless Missouri, a costume contest was on the list of intended events. Included categories: Grooviest Moves, Cutest Crew, and Hairiest Human.
Actual cycling wasn’t supposed to commence ’til 6 p.m. So supposing you’re local and reading this right when it posts, pedal your pantsless heart out; you might still be able to make the parade.
For those who’ve already missed the merriment, don’t incommensurately fret. It’s nearly certain the raw opportunity will annually repeat.
If you’re aching to get into fitness but have empty-handedly searched the cracks and crevasses of conventional cardio, maybe next year join a sea of sweaty-seated celebrants — and take the World Naked Bike Ride for a birthday-suited spin.
See more content from me:
Tail of the Sea: Man Complains of Stomach Pain, Doctors Find a Large Fish in His Rectum
Party Like It’s 1799: Cops Bust Up an Amish Barn Bash for Violating Ohio’s Stay-at-Home Order
Madly-in-Love Man Marries a Hologram, but Their Tale Turns Terminal as the Service Provider Pulls the Plug
Find all my RedState work here.
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